Prayer I

Just imagine how annoyed you’d be if at a dinner party, after you’d cooked, cleared everything away, brought out the coffee and the after-8s, Jesus, to your sister who hasn’t moved all night, pipes up with, thank you Mary, for listening. Livid.

And that of course was also the Church’s official position. Contemplation over action. Joachim of Fiore famously drew a map of the New Jerusalem – entirely populated by monks. Secular clergy – parish priests – like your humble vicar – all domiciled beyond the walls. You lot – miles off. Thank goodness for Martin Luther.

Although when I’m old, and my family have abandoned me, I like the thought of retiring to a religious community. And when I say ‘religious community’ it would be silent and there would be a large library and central heating. And I would live out my days choosing the font of my unwritten magnum opus and sleeping in a comfortable chair. In the church it’s good to have ambition.

Mary is lauded over Martha – so symbolically prayer – sitting at the feet of Jesus – Is considered better than good works – activity. So I thought in the next couple of weeks, with Gospel stories considering the subject of prayer, we might think about how we pray. Something, traditionally, the British, even in churches, hate talking about. But – And I know this because people tell me – There are frequently asked questions – “what should I hope for?” “how should I go about it?” “when can I stop?” “do I need to close my eyes?”

You say prayer – and most people think of asking God for things. This is wrong really – intercession is only one form of prayer and not the most important, unless you’re falling out of a plane or a Tory leadership candidate, but let’s start there. I think the question most people have is ‘does it work?’ And if it works, ‘why doesn’t it work all the time?’

Now I have personally witnessed some very surprising turns of events, which I cannot account for except by exceedingly unlikely probability, or acts of grace. I have been told of countless more examples, many more striking. But equally I can think of countless situations where prayer has not been effective, and tragedy, suffering, death, calamity have advanced uncontested, where the God we strive to understand as good, powerful and active – has seemed shockingly absent. It’s too glib to come up with the speculative answers: “In suffering he knew how loved he was and was able to live with a courage no one would have suspected.”
“In death she brought back the family together, and the fundraising campaign will prevent others suffering as she did.”

One cannot tap, tap, tap the calculator to ascertain whether the good that has come from a time of trial is sufficient to justify it. Good does come from evil, often surprising, often later, often insufficient, but it’s fruitless and heartless to offer comfort with the claim that any suffering is for the greater good. “You don’t realise now, but actually…” On the other hand, for myself, I do try to continual keep in mind Cardinal Newman’s prayer: ‘If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.’

But prayer is about more than changing God’s mind. There’s a sense in which it’s an attempt to say at every moment, however haltingly, ‘thy will be done’. It is a gathering of our desire – our own and our community; It’s an attempt to reach out: In faith – that trust, which is so wanting in this world, but which we seek in God; In hope – that there is a reason – even if we cannot understand – that things may improve or at least find resolution; And ultimate hope: that injustice and horror will find meaning and resolution in eternity; In love – when we can do nothing else, we can pray. Prayer is always the final act of love for anyone, and an act which extends even beyond death in faith and hope.

I find very often I’m not praying for things to get better, but for peace; And that’s not asking God to draw alongside people. God is already there. It’s really asking for people to know that presence, and find comfort. In John’s Gospel the question is raised about why has Jesus healed the blind man. It’s not because Jesus has compassion, or that this man deserves it, But that the glory of God may be revealed. In prayer we are always seeking the glory of God.

St Paul tells us we should pray without ceasing. From this I take it that prayer is an attitude: It’s a bubbling over of our faith, hope and love in conversation with God; If anything is going to train us in faith, hope and love it is prayer. Prayer is the work of faithful, hopeful love, And whether some situation is actively transformed by prayer or not, we cannot cease from prayer while our faith, hope and love remains.

But we have to believe it matters. Christianity is either the most important thing in the world or a strange hobby – Then we of all people are most to be pitied. And with us all the apostles, martyrs and early church who died with prayers on their lips, not praying for themselves but for those who would follow them. Because prayer is an act of witness.

The second frequently asked question concerns how to pray. There are ever so many set prayers, written by the Church. In Covid the diocese issued at least one prayer every week, which I thought was indescribably annoying when there were so many things to do. That’s no doubt the Martha in me. Then there are those who hold that prayer should emerge spontaneously by the Spirit. Jesus himself teaches us to pray in a set way in the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer. He also commends the simple prayer of the publican – “God be merciful to me, a sinner” over the wordy prayers of the pharisee. The Lord’s Prayer – the Our Father – is the subject of next week’s Gospel but in it are all aspects of prayer. The Jesus prayer – adapted from the publican: “Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”, has been adopted in all churches. It’s frequently used as a sort of spiritual warm up, as a breathing exercise, as a focus of meditation for long periods of prayer. Some people prefer just a straight-forward conversation with God. Something to check periodically in prayer, though, is ‘are we talking when we should be listening?’.

But the other thing I’d say is that practicalities matter. Every now and then Rhiannon will come down and sit with the kids and tell me to go off for a run – knowing that running helps me. But this always throws me. Running is not something I can just start doing – It takes a degree of mental preparation – what to eat and when to eat, deciding a route, thinking about what I’m doing straight afterwards, do I know where my running watch is, will I have music? This sort of planning is very helpful in prayer. Decide how long you’re going to pray for and set an alarm – even if it’s 5 minutes. Then you won’t be distracted glancing at your watch. Stick to the time – like therapy it’s usually in the last few minutes God will pull your arm. Decide how you’re going to pray before you start and make sure you have everything you need. Go somewhere you won’t be disturbed or feel awkward. Prayer must be surrendered to. I remember my tutor at university encouraging me to let go, by reminding me that you submit a thesis. You have to submit to prayer.

I think Jesus praises Mary, because sitting at his feet is usually the more difficult thing to do. How many of you are writing shopping lists during the intercessions, Planning your diary during the sermon; We default to business, to filling the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds of distance run; When sometimes what is required is just to be still. So try it, And every time that distracting thought comes, that feeling this is a waste of time, the practical thought of something else to be done, remember Mary, and that the better part is to be at Jesus’ feet; to be still, and to listen. Amen.